Friday, 24 July 2009

I miss Iraq

It's been a long time; life is much different now; for better of course, but still missing you all guys, and also miss sitting in front of my computer and writing down my random thoughts, yet, I've had great time in the last 4 months.

Here we go, can't stay away for long.

I'm now on holiday meeting up with my family, everything seems different including my holiday!
I'm as lazy as never been like this, I spent the last two weeks sleeping and eating, didn't bother going out or doing anything interesting apart from chatting with them and of course with my lovely S, who is far away.

The last couple of weeks before the holiday were hard, S was doing her exams and I couldn't see her, I was desperate to head off.
As soon as I finished work on the last day, I headed to London, I met her there, as beautiful as always, as nice as ever, yet, exhausted of studying hard, we celebrated our 100 days of being religiously married (aqid).

We had a great fun the day after, we went to Thorpe park, was a great fun for her, but not for me, I don't think that being upside down in the air, or being taken to the highest level and thrown down very quickly is fun by any means (haven't I said before that I've got phobia of height!! It's much worse when you take a flight shortly after!! What a fun!!!

However, seeing her smiling and enjoying the trip worth all the horror.

And I'm here now; with them again, A is here with her husband F, her tummy looks bigger and I'm expected to be an uncle in few months!

My father is the same strong man full of principles, and mom is as kind as ever, as wonderful as ever and of course still the only one makes my tears flow when I think about her.
I've got to admit that I miss S so much and don't feel good as she is away from me now, I can't have fun without her being next to me.

In a moment I sat down and started thinking; I'm with my family but not at home, yet, what have I got left at home? How does it look like now? Is there any chance that it will be better? Isn't it a bit better now? How better is it?

While thinking; I was watching Pearl Harbor

despite the harsh attack, they didn't give up, seems they didn't even think about giving up.

It's been over 6 years now, we're still unable to think about the country as much as we think about subgroups and how we can prove that we're right and everyone else is wrong.
I've been away for 3 years now; never praised U.K and never thought of being anything but a pure Iraqi.
Yet, what are the chances of having a better Iraq? How can I participate in making life better there? What is wrong? And how can we correct it?
Will I see Iraq again?
The only things that I would praise about Brits that they listen, they don't try to complicate things to you when you try to stop you when you have an idea in your mind, in a simple word; they give you a hope.
I feel like being lost in the middle of a chaos, more lost than ever been, and more confused than ever thought would be.
I'm flying back to U.K; another year to be spent there, another challenges to be faced, not sure how the year will pass but sure that I've got to work so hard
I've got to admit that I want to go back this time, I miss her so much and I need to see her.

No matter how far I am or how long it's going to be.
No matter how much confused and lost I am.
Iraq is the light at the end of this dark tunnel, and probably S's face is the reflection of this light

I miss Iraq


Khalid from said...

Thank you for taking some time out of your busy life to write this post. The last paragraph is so beautiful and I enjoyed reading it.

May ALLAH give you and your wife success and happiness in your life together.

Take care,

Tara said...

احيي فيك انك ماتزال تشتاق للعراق

انا اشعر اني بلا وطن
لكن لااريد ابدا ان ارجع للعراق و هو بهذا الحال

اشتاق الى الايام اللي كنت فيها هناك
و الى السوالف مع صاحباتي
للسفرات و الضحك حتى بأتعس الظروف

بس اللي اسمعه هسة
عن صعوبة العيش هناك
عن الغبار
عن نقاط السيطرة بالشوارع
عن فساد اصغر و اكبر موظف
يجعلني اكره ذلك الوضع كله
و لا اشجع احد على الرجوع

و لا اعرف اذا كان ذلك يجعلني غير وفية
لكن ما افكر فيه هو
انني استحق عيشة افضل مما عشته هناك
و ان ثلاثة حروب تكفيني

الكثير من الاطباء و المهندسين اللي هنا في الخليج رجعوا للعراق بصورة دائمة

قدموا استقالات من شغلهم وباعوا سياراتهم ورجعوا
خصوصا اللي عندهم اولاد بالبكالوريا
لكني اشفق عليهم
و اتمنى لهم السلامة و قوة الاعصاب

مرة قريت شي
يقول انو الوطن مو فندق
نتركه عندما تكون الخدمة سيئة
بل يجب ان نتمسك به

بس ، الى متى ؟؟
صبرنا كلش هواية