Tuesday 30 September 2008

عيد سعيد

العيد طل علينا من جديد
كل عام و انتم بخير يا عراقيين, كل عام و انتم بخير يا أطيب الناس و يا أكرم الناس و يا أجود الناس و يا أشرف الناس و يا أروع الناس و يا أرق الناس.
كل عام و أنت بخير يا أحلى وطن و يا أكرم وطن ويا أبهى وطن و يا أطهر وطن و يا أعظم وطن.
كل عام وأنت بخير رغم الاحتلال... كل عام و أنت بخير رغم الألم...كل عام وانت بخير رغم المآسي و الآم....كل عام وانت بخير رغم الدمار...كل عام وأنت بخير رغم حقد الحاقدين....كل عام وأنت بخير رغم خيانة الخائنين....كل عام وأنت بخير رغم تخريب المحتلين و العابثين... كل عام وأنت بخير ولو كره الكافرون.
جعل الله أيامك مليئةً بالسعادة و البهجة يا حبيبتي بغداد و اعادك الله لنا كما كنت دوماً منارةً لا تدانيها الشمس.

صلاةُ العيد ثم قطعةُ كاهي و صحن قيمر كانت دوماً البداية, فتهاني وتبريكات و آمالٌ و دعوات و عيدية تُجمع من الأحبة في صباح اليوم الأول.
هكذا عهدتُ العيد فيك يا وطني...بسيطُ كما نحن, و جميل مليءٌ بالدفء كما أنت.

في غربتي هذه,وإنا بعيدًُ عن الوطن و الاهل و الصحبة و ولامظهر حولي يرمز للعيد
رأيتُك يا وطني و قد ملأ الناس الأمل.
أملك يا وطني يملأني بهجة و سرورا

أيامكم سعيدة و كل عام و انتو بخير

Monday 22 September 2008

Ten minutes jumping

The day I left Baghdad; I refused to hug him, I promised that we're going to meet again the day after.
I simply ran away without saying good bye; I wasn't strong enough to say it, and deep inside I had a strange feeling that we would meet again.
I'm talking here about N, this is not a friend, he is much more than that, he is my second half, the brother who I don't share blood with, or as Saif described it
"The soul's mate" who we've been friends for over 11 years now.

The long distance never kept us away from each other; it was just very difficult to see each other.
Soon after I left; he packed and moved to Kurdistan looking for a safer life.
Never settled there and never felt comfortable, his dreams were much farther.

Struggled many times to get to Europe but failed, yet, never gave up, and here we are:

A month ago, with difficulty, taking all the risks, traveling through one country to another, he managed to reach Holland.
I couldn't believe it! He is close now, a matter of 1 hour flight, it's quite easy to be there, we're going to see each other again, thanks God.

I started looking forward for the soonest possible off day to go, and it was last Friday.
Finishing the 4 night shifts I had to do, I packed my bag in few minutes and rushed from Manchester to Liverpool were I had to take to the plane.

On my way; I had flashes from the past, him being threatened by the security forces, there weapons were pointed to his neck, when I started shouting and threatening.
We were always ready to die together, he never let me down.

As soon as I landed there started looking for the moment that we meet; it wasn't long after:
"I've promised you that we would meet again, that's why I didn't say good bye"
That what I said when we hugged each other.

"You haven't been changed at all" that was his first sentence.

In two and a half days; we talked about everything, every moment that we spent away from each other, every problem, every challenge and every new person we met in those two years.

We walked out, we lied down on the grass, we played, laughed, sang and ate, we had really fun.
While chatting we tried to count all our friends and where they're now; it was really shocking that; not less than 50% of the ones, who were graduated in our year are not working for the ministry of Health now.
And the last thing was going out in Den Haag "Lahai"
Where we found that childish jumping place, I never denied being a child, did I?
We went in, paid the fee and started jumping, up and up, never stopped for ten minutes.


In those ten minutes I kept looking at him, the same smile, the same gestures, and the same childish behavior.
I closed my eyes and found myself sitting in his black small car (the one he used to have in Baghdad), as he used to come everyday, ringing the bell, and then we both disappear.
Going out, drinking special juice from (14th of Ramadan street), chatting, listening to songs, eating Falafel or Lahmb3ajeen, and then going back, sit in the car, keep talking, talking about love, friends and future plans.
By that time; the ten minutes were over and we had to leave.
I left the place, I had to hug him as he took the train, but still feel like sitting in the car.
I left him there but sure will see him again.
"No matter when or where, there is only one world, where we both are living, whenever you need me; you'll find me around, you'll find my hand stretched and my heart opened…..see you soon".
Will never say Good Bye.

Monday 15 September 2008

A Reply to a Friend

It all started with a polite and kind e-mail I received; a person who was always nice to me at my blog, never been rude, never tried to insult and did his best to fill the gap.

"A&E, I thought I would check by e-mail since I wasn't sure you would want me to leave a comment. Were you able to find a new Job? Well, we are all rooting for you. Know that.
Glad your sister got married. Awesome. :-) I also wish I could have been to Venezia with you.

I think I told you this already, but I am very sorry about the mistakes my country made in Iraq that hurt Iraqis. But I am hopeful that Iraq will rise to greater heights than ever before soon. :-)
Cheers Friend,

(can I call you Abhoiya? I don't know if you will be offended. So I will call you friend instead".)


The impolite me haven't replied to the e-mail yes; been very busy, moving to Manchester, trying to sort my life and many other reasons could be used for excuse.
In fact; I've been loading thoughts, everyday or probably every second

In the last month, I had lots of events in my life; most of them made me get more upset.
The day I arrived to Manchester, I met (S); the beautiful friend of my mother and aunts, she has got her particular story which I've mentioned before.
A mother of five is what she used to be, a broken heart ghost of lady with one son is who she is now.
Still dressed in black, still repeating every second of the event, she has got nothing else to talk about.

(S) was at home; with her big family, surrounded by her five children, not living in military base, not a member of the Iraqi intelligence system, her husband wasn't a member in Ba'ath either.

They started bombing, everyone was scared, and they decided to sit in the centre of their house, just to be away from the windows.
All lied down, sleeping beside each other, supporting and encouraging the scared ones, praying to Allah, asking him to let them seeing the next day.

They exactly chose the spot where the rocket fallen, they all disappeared together, the (lucky/unfortunate) S didn't have a place in the middle, she had to sleep close to the door with her two sons.

In a second; everyone was in a big hole, the shocked S turned around, jumped and just before shouting, she saw on e of the two sons being hit by a piece of furniture due to the blow, unfortunately he also gone.

I'm unable to find a word which can figure out how she feels; her image comes to my mind whenever I remember Geoff Hoon, the [U.K.] Defence Secretary, suggested (April 4, 2003) that mothers of Iraqi children killed by cluster bombs would “one day” thank Britain for their use.

I'm pretty sure she does not.

What I've got to admit here is; I've never met any British person who said that he agrees with this war; many said that they feel ashamed that there country participated in destroying a country like Iraq.

Yet; having a word with a mother from the other side showed who I've become now.
I always admire the mother for being a mother; she had committed no sin, and she can't be but a mother.
Sitting close to her she raised the question (where are you from?); Iraq was my spontaneous reply.
"Oh, that is where my son going in few weeks, look here is his photo on the wall".
While staring g at the solder's photo I lost my smile.
"Don't send him there, he will be killed"
The shocked mother didn't know what to say, I could see the fear in her eyes, her mouth was opened and she was struggling for a word.
"But, he is a nice boy! He didn't do anything wrong?!"
"Maybe, but he is dressed like the ones who are killing, raping, torturing and destroying, what do you think people would show him but hate, they will never hesitate killing him"
She just tried to end the discussion as she was really scared
"He is only 18, and I can't do anything about it, I believe that they shouldn't be sent there, I'm really against this war".

I've got to admit that I showed no sympathy to that poor mother; I couldn't pretend having any, I was really out of.
"You shouldn't have asked at the first place" was my last statement.

How come you expect me to have any sympathy when I hear that cancer incidence is increasing in Iraq due to the depleted Uranium?
Illiteracy is escalating since the invasion; Iraq is one of the most corrupt countries in the world.

Back to the friend; you said you feel sorry for "the mistakes", no my friend, Americans don't do mistakes; they commit crimes, there is a big difference in between the two words.

We might forgive a mistake, but we should never let it go with the crimes.
The American crimes destroyed everything in our lives; killed millions of our children, and deprived generations from the hope.
This is not to be forgiven.

Still; they've got the power and they can kill more, yet, we can hurt them and we will do.
Sorry my friend but we're on two sides of the front; wish we don't meat each other.

In the anniversary of 11/09; I've got no sympathy; I just wish I live to see more attacks, more destruction, to the Hell U.S